Divorce Can Be a Rough Transition for Parents and Grandparents, Agrees Fairfax Divorce Attorney
Fairfax, VA (Law Firm Newswire) January 23, 2013 – One-third of adult homeowners now are living with their aging parent or adult child.
Many of those adult children moved back “home” post-divorce. According to author Marsha Temlock’s new book, “Your Child’s Divorce: What to Expect – What You Can Do,” this is an all-too-common scenario.
Adults who are put in the position of comforting and supporting their newly-split adult child may have some difficulty adjusting, says Temlock. “Divorce can be a transition for everyone in the family, not just the split couple,” agrees Fairfax divorce lawyer Lisa McDevitt. “Family members are sometimes placed in a position where they must offer extensive emotional and financial support to help them get back on their feet.”
Temlock suggests several ways to make the transition period go as smoothly as possible. Parents and the adult child can sit down and decide ahead of time what the timeline is for the stay. How long will the child be back home? How much flexibility is there? Does the staying (and leaving) depend on finding a new job or making some other huge life change that is at least partially out of their hands? Or is this a shorter-term recovery stay, with a natural shelf life?
How will household duties be approached? Who does chores, who pays expenses, and how do schedules mesh and clash? The more specifics that are worked out ahead of time, the less chance there is for misunderstanding and resentment.
Marie Hartwell-Walker, a licensed psychologist, marriage and family therapist, has written about the struggles faced by the grandparents of children who divorce. She has several tips which apply for parents, as well. She says to avoid escalating the conflict between the two parties.
Parents and grandparents should stay out of any difficult issues between the spouses, and avoid offering advice. Advice can backfire, and choices based on advice can go badly. Offer general support and guidance, Hartwell-Walker says, and leave the specifics to the people in the actual marriage. Use this time to be calm, patient, and tactful when everyone needs it the most.
Lisa Lane McDevitt
2155 Bonaventure Drive
Vienna, VA 22181
Toll Free: 866-602-7850
- When spouses wish to part ways, the finality of divorce is usually best
As a popular culture would have us believe, breaking up is hard to do. With all the emotional and financial upheaval that is often involved with a nuptial parting of the ways, some on-the-rocks couples opt for what may seem to be the easier route of some form of separation. Despite the first-blush attractiveness of […]
- With proper planning and the right choices, a person can spare heirs the probate process
Probate tends to be costly and lengthy — so much so that many people seeks ways to avoid asking their heirs to go through the process at all. There are legal, probate-free means for transferring assets to heirs in the United States, but they vary from state to state. Within the metropolitan Washington area, which encompasses […]
- Disregard their ambiguous names: living wills and powers of attorney are clearly key documents
Legal terminology can sometimes seem confusing, even misleading, to the layman. The names of some legal documents can suggest one meaning while actually operating as something else. Within estate planning law, for example, living wills and powers of attorney are two well-known but often misunderstood staples. A living will is not actually a will at […]
See other news sources publishing this article. BETA | Tags: Fairfax divorce attorney, Fairfax divorce lawyer, Fairfax estate planning attorney, Fairfax estate planning lawyer, Vienna divorce attorney, Vienna divorce lawyer, Vienna estate planning attorney, Vienna estate planning lawyer